"And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?" Luke 18:7-8

I am entering into my tenth year as a follower of Christ and with the beginning of 2009 I've been thinking about this journey I've been on since I was 14.  I see that God has been speaking to me about something all these years and it's taken me so long to realize what God desires for me to reach my ultimate destiny in His hands. 

2009 began with everything being shaken.  Parts of my life that had never been threatened before were put to the test and, yes, some pieces did crumble and fall.  But I found myself coming closer to God through it all and seeing with new unveiled eyes that what God desires for me is this: humility/humiliation/humanity.

I am human and God created me in such a way.  He doesn't desire me to be a prototype of a man-made definition of "Christian" but He desires to see His people realize their humanity and His superiority.  That God is God and I am not, that "when my depravity meets His divinity it's a beautiful collision."  So here I am once again, reciting Philippians 2 and asking God to please give me the attitude of Christ Jesus. 

Starting another round of intercessory prayer and I came forth with a list of things to pray for.  So many people, event, circumstances kept flashing through my head and weighing on my heart.  But as I knelt this morning to pray I felt God whispering that there was something else I had forgotten along the way.  The true desires of a young 14 year old girl who longed to see her family saved.

Yesterday one of the jipsanims from our church came to me and told me she had a dream about me and had this sudden urge to pray for me.  Seeing the concern in her eyes and the desire to just pray over me in love, I had tears well up in my eyes and in my heart and something clicked.  I forgot how much I longed to see my own mother do this for me, how I longed to look into the eyes of those younger than me with the same selfless love of a praying mother. 

So I prayed for my family this morning.  =)

Thank you, Jesus, for listening to the persistent cries of the widows, the orphans, the rejected ones, for listening to the cries of my heart.  Despite what the world throws at us, you accept us and listen to every desire of our human hearts.  So I find the fruit in every circumstance you throw at me.  I see your goodness in every moment of injustice.  I recognize the power of thanksgiving, the power in saying THANK YOU JESUS for everything.  You are YAHWEH. 

 "I did not see a temple in the city, because the Lord God Almighty and the Lamb are its temple. The city does not need the sun or the moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it light, and the Lamb is its lamp. The nations will walk by its light, and the kings of the earth will bring their splendor into it." -Revelation 21:22-24

That the Lamb might receive the reward for His suffering. - Moravian missionary

Oftentimes, we, as Christians, have these terms that we use to refer to God.  Heavenly Father.  Lord God.  Father.  Lord Jesus.  Lamb of God.  And all of these are correct; they are part of the many names of God our Healer, Deliverer, Savior, and King.  But I never realized the full understanding of calling Jesus my Lamb until last night. 

Yes, we often refer to Jesus as our Lamb to signify that He was a sacrifice for our sins.  That, just as the sacrifices of the Old Testament were used to ask for atonement and forgiveness, the blood of our Lamb, Jesus, made an atonement for our sins.  But what does it mean to live our lives as a reward for that suffering that Jesus suffered on the cross? 

Last night as I listened to a song with the above lyrics and as I prayed for an upcoming retreat, the power of the cross just hit me and the desperation for salvation that I so often forget to foster welled up in my heart once again.  I found myself confessing to God: "Lord, it is the salvation of these souls that it is the ultimate reward for the ultimate sacrifice you made upon the cross.  It is the salvation of my soul that brought You the reward that You so deserve." 

Why is it that I so often forget the power of the cross?  Where is my faith in the power of the blood of Jesus in my daily life?  My question now is to myself:  Am I living my life as a lamb of God?

Yes, Jesus is the Lamb of God and it is His ultimate sacrifice that has paid the greatest price for my greatest sin.  But Jesus reminded us during His last days on earth that we would do greater things than Him for the kingdom of heaven.  So shouldn't it be the prayer of our lives to take the greatest thing that Jesus ever did on this earth and follow that path of selfless sacrifice every day?

So, after talking with a friend, I've realized that we are in fact the Lambs of God, called to suffer in the sense that we must give up ourselves daily to run the race for the prize that will last for eternity.  A generation rising up with selfless faith.  That is our calling.  The power of love and not just prescriptive faith and shallow love is what drives us to weep for the lost souls of this generation and the nations. 

Thank you, Jesus, for Your blood.  For it is to me the greatest example of how I should live my life.

"Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from the heart." - 1 Peter 1:22

This is my verse for the year of 2008.  Everything always boils down to one thing: love.  Love for God, love for others.  Everything has been pointing in this direction for me throughout this whole summer and fall.  Yet I chose to ignore the signs, but now God is speaking to me, letting me know that this is the crucial next step that I must take in order to enter into a deeper relationship with Him.

As this verse points to, love is deeper than purity or obedience.  These are essential parts of truly loving someone with the love that Christ provides; however, Peter is calling us in this verse to love one another "deeply," conveying a different level of love that comes from the heart.  My biggest struggle, love for others around us (especially those God has placed in front of us) can be the most difficult battle we will experience as disciples. 

I am so set to give up everything and follow God's plan for my life.  But God is calling out to stop merely looking forward.  He's saying, "Look around you.  Don't you see the need of those suffering around you.  Why do you ignore the opportunity to serve me here?"  Who knows where this path of following God will lead me in the year 2008?  All I know is that it is the most exciting journey of my life as well as the most difficult one.  As of now, I will look to love.

God gave me a glimpse of this deep love in 2007.  But that was just a taste of what I need to spread on my own.  God heals so we can help heal others.  God loves so we can love others.

I am a runner waiting at the starting line, ready to race at any instant.  My adrenaline is pumping and the anticipation is growing.  But I never know when the gun will go off announcing the beginning of the race.  I can't let this not-knowing become a distraction.  I must stay focused, running in place, preparing myself to begin that race with no turning back. 

Amen.